Real Ingredients

The other day I went to the store for American cheese for hamburgers. My wife wanted to be sure that I got the stuff with “Real” ingredients, real cheese, not a substitute. After staring at labels that said, “Made with Real Milk products.” I selected the one which was not made with canola oil and had fewer unrecognizable contents.

Labels can be a bit deceptive, portraying things like, “one hundred percent pure,” whether it be honey or maple syrup. Yet the truth may be a bit fuzzier and obscure, because companies are allowed to add a certain percentage of cheaper products to stretch them, which means more money in their pockets, while still labeling it as the real thing.

Another one is hot dogs. At our house, we look for the ones in the store that are labeled, “One hundred percent beef.” You pay a little more for them, and they taste the same as the other ones that possess a label that says, “Unspecified mechanically separated meat products.” Yet it does something for the mind that now we are eating beef, even though there is no part of it that resembles hamburger or steak. The label does not specify what part of the beef you are consuming, but that is okay because it is, after all, one hundred percent beef.

Last night we were at a church deal, and some little children were there. One little girl, cute as a button, was toddling around carrying her book. It did not matter that she could not read it, or that it was upside down. In her shy, adorable way, she wanted to show me what she had, which was a book about bears. She had the biggest smile and was as happy as could be. She was not trying to be anyone else; she was simply being a real child.

A couple of other children came for the supper we were serving. I noticed the telltale signs that they had been sleeping not long before. Initially, they ignored my attempts at conversation, still lost in their sleepy, waking-up little world. Eventually, they did look at me and acknowledge that I was talking to them. They were not being intentionally unsociable; they had just got up from naps a few minutes before they came to church. They did not feel like talking to anyone until they recovered from their sleepy state. They were children. I have seen these same children run around and talk like crazy, when they were not so sleepy. They simply felt no pressure to be anything but what they were at the moment.

Jesus used children to teach some of the most important lessons in the Bible. I picture Him with these children around Him, sitting on His lap with His arms around them; the mothers standing nearby. Jesus, surrounded by those “real” innocent ones, talking to them and healing their little ailments. At one point, He told His followers that they needed to humble themselves as little children to be the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. He did not say to become little children, but to become like them. They are real; they are humble and teachable.

Is it a wonder Jesus chose a child as an example for the kingdom of heaven? Beyond their basic needs of food, security, and love, they are accepting of life. They simply are who they are. Of course, it does not take long for the real to become a fight, protecting what they feel is rightfully theirs. Then they make up and go on like nothing happened. What is beautiful about this is that they do not carry grudges and are not caught up in trying to be someone. They are teachable and humble, with no pretext.

Sometimes we visit with people, and they say, “To be honest, this is how I feel.” Or they may make other comments to let you know that “Now I am really telling you something, this is the real deal.” It is kind of like they were not being real before when they were talking. Or they may say, “This is what really happened.” It is like they want you to know that you are fixing to get the “real” truth of the matter. It is like we hold back this secret part of the story and now we are going to let them in on it.

What if we cut out the clichés, cut out the fillers, and be real people! No excuses, just me; relaxed with myself and others. After all, is that not what makes others so enjoyable to be with?

Okay, that said, being ourselves may take a bit of qualification. Everyone appreciates it when a person is courteous, thoughtful, and engaging. They are interested in you and at peace with themselves; no airs about them. They look like they really enjoy living in the moment and may talk to you like you are the most interesting person on the planet. These are the qualities which make you feel relaxed and open with them.

Being real may not be the proper word. Perhaps “authentic” serves better. Authentic people are real. They are not concerned about being something or someone they are not. They are mindful of what they say, because they do not feel the need to validate themselves through their experiences and feelings. They acknowledge themselves and how they feel, but they do not get drawn into dumping their grievances on you, yet neither are they hiding or ignoring how they feel.

I wonder if what makes a person authentic is how they feel about themselves. They humbly accept their capabilities and understand their inabilities. They are respectful of you and themselves.

Not everyone has this outgoing, meet-no-stranger personality. There are many shy and introverted people who may never be the center of a group conversation. They may find it difficult to be authentic, thinking they need to be this outgoing person, who is comfortable talking with everyone. While that may be something they could cultivate, God created them the way they are. If He had wanted them different, He would have created them that way. I believe it is possible for them to be comfortable with who they were created to be, while being their authentic self.

Wounded people have a difficult time being relaxed with themselves and the world around them, which in turn hinders their authenticity. Their emotions are raw, and they are felt. They are insecure and therefore grasp for things to make them feel secure, including those around them.

Being authentic is for anyone and everyone, but especially for the Christian. After all, God asks us to be honest with Him and ourselves, which lays the foundation of authenticity. He asks us to look at the sin in our lives and repent, finding our peace and fulfilment in Him. I believe Christians are the most real people in the world, yet like everyone else, we are plagued with wanting to fit in, wanting to be accepted, and wanting life to work out. We desire the perfect job, the perfect truck, the perfect family setting, then when the reality of our lives falls outside of these bounds, we feel unacceptable and inferior to others. The truth is that our desires are a moving target. When wealth increases, so do our wants. We tend to get caught up in thinking that wealth and health bring happiness and acceptance, yet deep down, knowing all the while this is not true. Yet we buy into that thinking process and set ourselves up for a life of dissatisfaction and chasing happiness in the wrong ways and places. Today, with the advertising themes and grab lines in the “how to” in social posts, it only fuels this drive and unhappiness.

What if we stop for a moment and look around? If we step out of ourselves and look at what we have, good chance we will find more positive than negative. Right now, we may not appreciate what life has brought us, but time moves on and things change, and with God we can expect a brighter future. If we had the option of choosing anyone’s life we wanted, we would likely eventually choose our own. No doubt we would realize that others also have difficult things to work with.

Maybe it is time we turn our lives over and look at the “ingredients” label. This may be helpful. Being authentic and real is not a dull life; it is the way to live. Neither does it mean that we have to get rid of ourselves. Rather, it means we need to replace some of the unhealthy and useless additives with real ingredients.

Some of us may be tempted to get out the hammer and saw and go to work on our ourselves. We think that if we drive our feelings back in place, and cut off our undesirable traits, it should fix things up real nice. While this may give some temporary relief, in the future it may yield more frustration than lasting change. Try removing self-loathing and replacing it with understanding and compassion. Release the grip on yourself, and let God take over. Let go of criticism of one’s past actions and insert grace, compassion, and forgiveness. It may seem counterintuitive to let go of the judgment of ourselves, but it opens the door for God to work. This in turn allows us to become our “authentic” self. Sometimes we need to just relax and be a “real” human.

Here is what Peter writes about good ingredients. Take note of how these additives make one authentic and real. Then read how the Holy Spirit dwelling in our hearts assists us with being authentic and real.

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5 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;

6 And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;

7 And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

8 For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

2 Peter 1:5-8 KJV

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22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

24 And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.

25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit.

26 Let us not be desirous of vain glory, provoking one another, envying one another.

Galatians 5:22-26 KJV

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In conclusion, there is no better way to be authentic and real, than to live a humble, surrendered life for God and our fellow human beings. If we begin to struggle with being “real” we should check our “ingredients” label to see if we have added some wounds and pride. We live in a broken world, so we should not expect everything and everyone, including ourselves, to be perfect all the time. We will do ourselves and others a big favor if we accept this and live life accordingly. We do not need to carry a standard if we are submitted to God’s standard. That is where we will find true happiness and peace.

Currently I have been reading my own ingredients label while making adjustments. These last verses best reflect my own desires and aspirations. I take comfort in the last verse, that God will show me what I need to change as I go along.

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12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

15 Let us therefore, as many as be perfect, be thus minded: and if in any thing ye be otherwise minded, God shall reveal even this unto you.

Philippians 3:12-15 KJV